So, we’ve considered the value of field guides as a supplement to the ‘art’ of birdwatching and right now, you’re reading a book on the benefits of birdwatching for mental health and wellbeing. The wealth of available material means that there are always opportunities to expand your knowledge through reading. Of course, reading reams of research and guidance can help to inform you as a birdwatcher but the best resource that’s available is there all the time and costs nothing. Getting outside and actually  doing some birdwatching.

This is the kinaesthetic aspect, the actual act of watching birds. Almost every experience I’ve shared has involved me going outside and immersing within nature – not just an act of doing but also an act of being. Being attuned to nature is an act in itself and comes naturally to those of us who spend a lot of time outdoors. I can recall many occasions when I’ve been out at my patch on my own. My purpose usually starts with looking for and observing birds but I often just stop and fill up with joy at the wonder of being outdoors. A few days before writing this I had one such experience at a local site.

I was in what I call the ‘mindfulness butterfly glade’. It was incredibly sunny and, in its warmth, I stood watching Small Copper butterflies flutter from flower to flower in front of me. To my immediate right, in a pocket of gorse, a Whitethroat and a Garden Warbler scratched and bubbled their familiar melodies. I started to become aware of the fact that I felt very positive, elated by the warmth of the sun, the greenness of the flora, the colours of the butterflies and the sweetness of birdsong. I felt amazing and it was all because of the healing powers of the natural environment. Just being.

I know it’s unlikely that many people will see this, although it would be useful if regular readers would consider sharing on Twitter, as it’s essentially a plea for help.

Basically, I’ve started to put together the basic framework for a Bird Therapy teaching resource, to work alongside the book. I’m aiming it at KS3-4 and it will be a PSHE resource, with some outdoor/science activities mixed into it.

It will have lots of embedded videos, covering book readings and activity introductions. I’ve already got a number of people who have said they are willing to contribute video shorts on why they love being outdoors and how it helps their mental health and wellbeing. It would be good to expand this too. I also intend to make a series of worksheets to go with each one, including book extracts and extension activities.

I’m looking for suggestions and collaboration from anyone who teaches PSHE, or is involved with school enrichment or SEN; preferably with an interest in nature. I have a vision of what I think it should look like and I love planning and making resources, but nothing beats the input of others.

I managed to keep some contact details when I took Twitter hiatus, but I’m sure there are more people who would be interesting in helping. Please do share this if you can and if you would like to help, please email me at birdtherapy@hotmail.co.uk

Joe

It’s been a torrid time of late – well, only inside my mind. Previous blogs have documented my social media struggles, but hopefully that’s all been knocked on the head now, as I’ve allowed someone I trust, to login and change my Twitter password so I simply can’t access it. I can now sink back into a routine of work and family life, without trying to be something that I’m not. I can also focus on what I really enjoy – writing.

After work yesterday, I decided to offset some of the muddling thoughts I’ve been having, by making a long-awaited return to the water-bearing part of my patch. I parked up, readied my optics and walked out onto the luscious ‘fairway’ leading down to the main lake. Past drooping Willows and spindly Hawthorns, the walk was green and pure – cleansing my mind and cushioning my being. It felt amazing to be back.

I strolled into the shaded passage that leads to the lake edge. A natural underpass that opens out onto the lime-green waters, that in late-summer, resemble some kind of kale and kiwi smoothie that’s been poured over its surface. I was daydreaming – remembering why I love this place so much – when a ‘Tuuuuuuui, tu, tu, tui, tui’ punctuated the stillness. A Sandpiper. Green. There was more than one – where were they? My binoculars raised and I strafed the lake until one swept into my view with a flurry awkward and pulsating wing-beats. It desperately fluttered on the algal-blooms, looking for a footing, then realised that it’s favoured muddy edges don’t exist here. Two met up and hurriedly searched for a landing spot, then another joined them, before all three seemed to coalesce and form an upwardly-spiralling pirouette – up and over the far treeline and away. Their calls diminishing as they disappeared from view.

I scanned the lake some more. The ducks had started to amass there again; Gadwall, Mallard and Teal dominated. There were four Little Grebes by the reeds on the far edge, the most I’d seen there in a year or so. The Cygnets were almost adult-size now. Specks of snow-white starting to glimmer through their grey-lintel down. Then a chitter-chatter descended, as a small group of Martins and Swallows dropped in, to scoop up a drink from the lake in front of me. I lowered my optics, left my scope and just stood, watching them with the ‘naked’ eye. It reminded me of the innate wonder of birds – sometimes you don’t need the optics and you don’t need to get closer to be with birds. Their beauty is often best beheld in these moments.

I walked on, under the Alders and down to the dense scrubby area in the southeast corner. A veritable warbler warren, this scrub was often densely packed with birds and I noted the abundance of Elderberries this year. Had I noticed these before, or were my senses at that heightened stage where you become attuned to place and purpose? Autumn was shifting into play and this would be a good place to keep an eye on. To the here and now though, there was a fair amount of skulking movement within the intertwined branches – time to focus. Such an abundance of Chiffchaffs, communicating  with each other using gentle ‘hu-weet’ calls – a family party, I was sure. They kept flicking up and over into the same place in the scrub. Their home, I warmly thought.

A yellower bird, sleeker and more assured, came into view. A Willow Warbler, wearing that fresh lemon curd coat, then another. A bulkier bird bumbled along the branches, chestnut tones with a soft-grey face – a Common Whitethroat. Then I was distracted as a bird shot out of the Alder above me, only to return on the exact trajectory it left on and to the same spot. It did it again. A small bird, light in colour, but assertive in its flight course. I knew that motion. It was a Flycatcher. I watched until it flew again and I could track it back to the branch which it left from. Yes. A Spotted Flycatcher. Such demure and gentle looking birds. Beautiful and such posers, as this photo shows.

I had returned. Walked those familiar pathways and thought those rejuvenating thoughts. The thoughts that formed the underpinning of my book. I had fallen back into, and back in love with, the local landscape. My place. My patch. We were reacquainted,

Joe

I’ve gone back to work this week after a busy summer off. It’s a genuine time of fresh starts at work and so I applied this to Bird Therapy, took the plunge and deactivated the Bird Therapy Twitter account. Instead of tweeting and threatening to do it, in a conceited act of self-important ego-massage – I’e just done it. No fanfare, no bullshit, the irony being that few will read this as I can’t tweet about it!

It simply had to be done. The behaviours I’ve written and reflected on, in my previous three blogs ‘antisocial media’ (pts 1-3), were getting worse. The impact was great. First thing in the morning – check Twitter, all day, periodically check Twitter, go back to work, keep checking Twitter. NO. I have too much to do. Twitter doesn’t pay our mortgage or provide for our daughter. Time to switch off.

The obsession had begun to burn, to sear a Twitter feed into my retinas, to replace meaningful outward interaction. The harshest thing that was happening in my brain was the comparing. I’d begun to really obsess about another person on there, watching their followers grow and grow, as mine slowed and then began to deplete. This made me think I needed to post more and more. More inane crap – drivel that nobody cared about. More taking of pictures JUST to post them on there, or writing of poems and haiku’s, that were lacklustre at best – further attempts to garner favour and interest. Sad really.

I’d sidelined other obsessive and compulsive behaviours with a new obsession – Twitter and my ‘profile’ on there, I’d become obsessed with ‘famous’ people and being on that pedestal myself (although my last blog states how that dream imploded). I’d ‘connected’ with some of these people and took it really personally when they didn’t reply to messages like to it was my right. None of that was real. My compulsions had transformed, compulsions to tweet and attract attention, compulsions to seek sympathy and gratification through narcissistic tweeting, compulsions to check, check and triple check – to interact for interactions sake. I think I’d rather be obsessed with going to the toilet again, than the mental anguish these delusions of grandeur and self-importance were bringing.

The book, which I sweated adjectives and dried up manuscript handwriting pens (thanks Berol), to write, isn’t out until July 2019 at the earliest. Social media can wait. The people I’ve been obsessing over can continue to grow – they have the capacity to do so – I, simply don’t! I’ve conceded that life is too short to be hung up on social media interactions. The real interactions happens at work – supporting students with SEN, teaching staff and families, to achieve better outcomes. Lots of people commented on my inanities and helped me to see this – thanks to the author Melissa Harrison, in particular, for her sage words of advice.

I can be emailed birdtherapy@hotmail.co.uk and reached through here on the contact page. I’m still developing a teaching resource to go with the book, so those that offered to make video clips, I’d still like them, if you see this. I’m doing a supper talk at Cley Marshes NWT – more info and tickets here (although they’re available at the visitor centre too). Logo tee shirts are available for 2 more days here and are definitely printing, as 32 have sold. I think that’s it. Stay positive and happy birdwatching.

Joe

The last week or so has been very, very strange for me and it’s led to a lot of deep reflection on what Bird Therapy ‘is’ and what, if any, are my aims, as life progresses?

You see, the issue is that I’ve reached a bit of a crossroads. The book, which chronicles all I wanted to get across (and more, I think), has gone to it’s first edit. It was hard to let go of it and to not obssessively check and edit it myself, but after a few weeks, the dust settled. Well, it didn’t settle, it kicked up and created a bit of a cloud – no, not a cloud, but a void. A yawning chasm in my life, that had filled three years of spare time, a lot of my efforts and a hell of a lot of emotions.

Then our daughter was born.

I wanted the book to be finished before she arrived and it was (give or take a few tweaks to the reference list). The void was full. Full of cuddles,  kisses and an immeasurable love, the likes of which, I never thought it would be possible to feel. I reeled from having to fill every void in my life with something – writing, reading, puzzle books, research, sorting things – to only wanting to spend time with her, to watch her, to adore her and to love her. I had been concerned that my mental health might swing uncontrollably in the other direction, lurching towards blackness and bitterness as my life transformed from preoccupation to parenthood; but nothing else mattered – only her, only us.

OK, so I didn’t go out birdwatching for seven weeks, but when I did, not only was time spent catching up with good friends, but there was also no urgency. It had dissipated. There was no desire to seek and find, no urgency to troop and trail, no, just a coveted contentedness in nothing but being.

Last Saturday, Chris Packham invited me to be a guest as part of his own talk at the Birdfair. It was the first time I’d attended and having been ‘off the grid’ with the summer holidays, it was a welcome return to professionalism and passion. Except, once I got there, I found that all of my senses were overwhelmed. Usually I have no issue at all with people, crowds and socialising; but I felt a bit like a lost child – confused and concerned – eyes-darting everywhere, head pounding.

I hid in the ‘green room’ where I sat waiting, my hands shaking and my brain becoming increasingly fraught with anxiety. Twice, I had to leave the side-stage area, with the second time producing a bitter, colourless bile, as I totally freaked out about going on stage. Thankfully the talk was well-received and the feedback has been positive. I don’t even know what I said, it was like a waking dream.

What happened after though was that I realised I didn’t fit in there. Cemented by a conversation with someone else there, who felt similarly to myself. Usually I try and fit in, joining in with ‘banter’ and conversations, trying to read people and situations, but not this time. I wanted to hide in a corner. Fuelled by anxious paranoia, I quickly met three of the ten or so people I’d arranged to meet and bailed to my car to drive home. A lot of rumination occurred during this drive, and then over the following days – and that’s how I arrived here, at this blog.

I don’t want to be notorious, I don’t want to be famous, I don’t want money (I have a career anyway), I want and need Bird Therapy to continue in this slow and organic way – speaking, sharing, writing and raising awareness and hope. It seems like lots of people were moved by my words and my story and that’s what I want to do, I just want to share it, help others and raise awareness of mental health. Chris gave me a huge platform to do this from and I’m so thankful. Yes, I subsequently had a needy and narcissistic wobble on social media, as my default self-loathing kicked in and I sought reassurance, but again people were positive and supportive. It’s now time for me to celebrate rather than ruminate.

Joe

I’m not sure how many people really read this blog or if any of my Twitter followers will end up seeing this, but I’ve become so obsessed with the Bird Therapy Twitter that I simply have to take a little break.

I felt it brewing as soon as we broke up for the summer holiday and I became increasingly more obsessed with posting for the sake of posting, checking, re-tweeting, fishing for likes and just generally being a narcissistic nightmare. I found myself seeking validation from various people and places and it was getting a bit unhealthy.

I just can’t accept that Bird a Therapy is a positive thing, I’ll always feel inadequate and delusions of grandeur, that I’ve always been saddled with, make it feel like the worst thing ever, when really it’s a self-inflicted first world problem.

I don’t have many, if any, people that I can discuss certain things with, like this social media nightmare and the way it makes me feel. I’ve place way too much emotional emphasis on my interactions on Twitter, to the point where they were replacing any external interactions in my life. Not good.

I’ll start with a week away and then see how I feel. It’s sad that it’s come to this, but while I continue to compare my social media ‘presence’ to others with more time, creativity and talent than me, I’ll always feel shit about myself.

If anyone wants to message me then use the contact page on her, leave a comment or email me at; birdtherapy@hotmail.co.uk

Joe

Another short passage that was edited from the final book…

There is another aspect to this bird sense that manifests through the art of guessing and analogising.  It seems like the more time you spend looking at, and counting large flocks of birds, then the more adept you start to become at approximating their numbers; often with reasonable success. I have a silly theory for this skill which I call my ‘Magpie Analogy’. It works like this – you’re walking with someone who is not a birdwatcher, and you’re both sharing a leisurely countryside stroll. A right-hand turn into a footpath takes you along the edge of a stubble field, where there are several Magpies lounging in the cropped crop.

You turn to your associate and ask them how many Magpies they think there are. As an experienced birdwatcher, not only are you able to scan the field and instantly pick out the structure and colouration of individual birds, but realistically a split-second scan can raise a pretty accurate guess – there are eight birds. However, it takes your friend the time to count each single bird and to recognise each one individually in order to reach the same conclusion.

I’ve been out with birdwatchers, who seem to be able to look at a flock of Golden Plovers in the sky, that to my eyes, just appear like a whirling, shimmering mass, that’s moving and glittering in unison. To them, there’s 350 birds – just like that – scanned and noted. It’s an amazing skill to witness, and one that clearly develops over time, but I’m still working on it myself. I’ve been out with people and we’ve counted the same flock of wildfowl, but our approximated counts are always different. It may take me a little longer to achieve the same, accurate count, but if I take the time to count the birds methodically then I usually get there in the end.

The trick is to divide a large flock into smaller groups of the same number and size. I’d suggest grouping ten birds, then scanning across and accumulating these clumps into the full flock-size. I’ve tried this a few times with large flocks of waders, pigeons and finches and it works well. This flock of Linnets, I estimated at 200 birds and minus the few out of shot – it’s not a bad guess!

With the imminent arrival of our first child, I decided a few days ago, to stop posting on the Bird Therapy Twitter account until after the summer holidays. Yesterday, I found I was still obsessively checking it and I felt that the only way to counter that would be to deactivate the account.

I always thought that social media was a positive when building a profile of a brand, a product or a person. However, what I increasingly found myself doing, was comparing myself to other people and becoming despondent at not being able to reach their levels of popularity and reach. This actually made my wellbeing worse and has put me in a pretty negative place at the minute.

I’ve read up on the effects of social media use and how it can lower self-esteem and make people feel inadequate. It’s certainly had that effect on me, as I just don’t have the capacity to maintain a presence on there, yet felt that I had to. If I didn’t post – I lost followers. If I posted and it didn’t hit a certain threshold of likes – I felt useless. I had found that I was so focused on ‘being’ someone, on being known – of being accepted. That it consumed my life. I was actually so focused on my social media presence that I’d started to lose a little of who I am in the real world.

These are common feelings though. There’s a fascinating report into social media use in 8-12 year olds, aptly named ‘life in likes’. The issues are similar, almost identical – and although presented from the perspective of children, resonate entirely. I write this to show to other people who are experiencing the same thing – that you’re not alone.

On the plus side – I’m about to become a Dad and in the absence of birds locally as they nestle down again, I’ve seen some beautiful local butterflies and orchids. Pictures below.

Joe