I’m finally starting to make positive breakthroughs in my perceptions and behaviours related to my social media use. Longtime followers will know that I’ve been struggling with this for years now and I’ve been working on reframing my relationship with it a lot more intensively in recent months. If you haven’t read any of my previous reflections then I’ll summarise here. I battle with a heady mix of ‘delusions of grandeur’ and ‘imposter syndrome’, which essentially means that I often think I’m more important than I am but then flip into the complete opposite mindset – that I’m worthless.

I know that these are both symptomatic of the other mental health issues I grapple with, and what is usually required is a detox from the online world so I can reengage with the real one. This is what I’m doing at the moment. It also leads to a deep resentment and jealousy of successful and popular people – which again, works in tandem with both of the above ‘heady mixes’ – bringing anxiety, self-loathing and worthlessness into the mix, which then becomes a desire to gain attention again. It’s a fascinating process and being able to self-reflect and deconstruct it is something I find both cathartic and petrifying.

The progress I’ve noted this week is that on two occasions, I’ve wanted to send a tweet to Chris from T4N who kindly looks after my twitter account. Instead of sending it to him, I’ve text him and discussed the urge to post for attention. The next step will be to address the behaviour that leads to the compulsion, which is obsessively checking certain peoples accounts and comparing myself to them. A lot of this comes down to ‘getting a grip’ and focusing on what matters – my daughter, family and my career but I lose sight of this and talking to Chris about what’s happening has been incredibly helpful.

Negative social media use, whilst still just a proposed psychological disorder, is in my opinion, very real. I’ve been reading about ‘ludic loops’ – a tactic employed by the gambling industry and also by social media site designers. They apply to addictive experiences and are described as this lulled state of tranquility where you just keep doing the thing over and over again. In gambling, it’s the repeated act win or no win, in social media it can be the act of scrolling, of posting, of obsessing over likes and shares or simply just checking our phone/app. In-fact, I’ve written before about it taking a few days for my finger to stop residually trying to press the Twitter app button when I remove it from my phone. Supposedly, these algorithmic designs give us just enough taste of a reward to continue with the behaviour. Over-and-over.

It’s scary. It’s a nightmare, but it’s really interesting too and I hope that as I continue reading, researching and thus, addressing these issues, I’ll reframe my relationship enough to be content. We will see.

3 thoughts on “Breaking the ludic loop – the reframing of a relationship

  1. I’m new to your blog having just finished Bird Therapy. I’ve been adjusting my use of social media lately as well. Never joined Twitter. Something told me that was not going to be a healthy place for me. Recently watched a TED talk by Joseph Gordon-Levitt regarding the difference between getting attention and paying attention. I don’t have a link but it feeds perfectly into your explorations on social media use. Anyway…enjoying watching the birds on my “patch”. Thanks for your book.

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  2. Wow Joe you are getting some great insights into a whole different side of social media and how it draws us in and keeps us there. Your research will be invaluable to yourself and many many others. You are an amazing fella with great intelligence – keep going but also keep family friends and birds close so they are there when you need them and they need you.

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  3. Wow, ludic loop. I have been working on this one joe I.e temporarily deactivated my Facebook account three weeks ago which has been quite liberating. Can’t wait to tell my friend later today about my ludic loop when we meet for coffee. 🙂🦅

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